It’s a dog’s life…

I recently blogged about my neighbour who enjoys a healthy nocturnal exercise regime (God bless and save her!), so this time I wish to talk about the dog on the other side of me, two doors down.  A bit of a harsh comparison you might think, yes, I hear you, but I am wearing an incredibly uncomfortable bra today so I am allowed.

First off I have to say that I love dogs (of the canine variety), and I don’t have anything against them.  Even had dogs in the family whilst growing up, and am not anti dog in any way.

However…

The dog in question belongs to the family two doors down from me; a young family with a toddler and another one on the way.

However…

Their dog.

Their lovely looking dog.

That likes to bark.

A lot.

AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT.

And it was at it yesterday, all feckin afternoon, even in the rain.  I think it was reacting to
some kids playing in a neighbouring garden for the most part but honestly it would not stop.  (Question, do dogs ever get sore throats?).

Bark, bark, bark, yap, woof, woof, grrr, bark, woof.

SHUT UP YOU MANGY CUR!

Woof, woof, bark, bark, bark, bark, grrr, woof, woof, woof, whine, grrr, grrr, woof, bark, bark, bark.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD…

Whine, grr, yap, bark, woof.

WILL YOU BE QUIET! (You must’ve realised by now that I am the one speaking in capitals)

Woof, woof, bark, whine, whine, whine, bark, bark, grr.

In the words of the Achmed the Dead Terrorist ventriloquist act: “Silence!  I kill you!”

Bark, bark, howl…

HOWLING?  THERE’S HOWLING NOW?  WHAT ARE YOU A WOLF? THIS IS SOUTH EAST LONDON, THERE ARE NO WOLVES HERE!

And on and on in that fashion for a while until – nothing, sweet, sweet nothing which pleased me greatly and I did not hear a peep out of him for the rest of the evening nor through the night.

I do however, so look forward to the time when I will be woken up by her howling like a wolf on one side of me and Muttley barking up any old tree on the other.  *sigh, puts ear plugs in and pillow over head*

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