Burnt bridges…

Can burnt or broken bridges truly be mended?  Can we really forget the wrongs of the past and move on to be friends again with those with whom we had fallen out with?

I only ask because I recently had a request on FaceBook from someone who I was pretty close friends with over 10 years ago.  We fell out and never spoke to one another again.  I was OK about this and accepted everything, even laughed when she returned all the pictures of me that she had taken at various parties over the years.

I am not going to go into the specific details of what happened, and to be honest, I really can’t remember everything!  Suffice to say our friendship ceased to exist and we moved on.

So, imagine my surprise when I get a request from her to be an FB friend!  Truly surprised, yes.  She is one person I did not expect to hear from and I wonder why she is reaching out to me again.

I wasn’t sure it was really her at first as she has changed her name slightly but I checked her profile, and it is who I think it is.  I am almost tempted to contact her to ask why she wishes to connect with me, albeit through a social networking site.

I am not adverse to reestablishing contact with someone, if we had just drifted apart, but someone with whom I fell out with, I am not sure.  When this happens, we move on, we assign that person to the past and our memories, and I have to admit that I am not always comfortable being friends again with people after we burnt that bridge, although I have done it and the friendship has worked out better than before.

I know that I should reach out, and believe me when I say this, I bear this person no ill feelings at all.  I hope that she is happy and healthy and has a good life (yes, I realise that sounds a bit sanctimonious but it comes from a good place!).  Part of me is flattered that she wants to connect with me again, but, equally, the cynical side of me wonders what her motives are in doing so.

I will ponder a bit on what I do now and leave her in the pending tray for a bit longer.  I might send her a message first and see how that goes.  Perhaps I should look at my other post on friendship again…!

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6 thoughts on “Burnt bridges…

  1. Don’t go back with someone if you have fallen out with them; you will only row again and the energy that wil go into could be used for better things. Stay away!!!!!!!

    • You are right! It is only after I posted this and started to think about when we were ‘friends’, that I realised that she was not that good a friend to me. I don’t need that drama in my life again!

      • I tend to stick to myself these days, can’t be doing the drama thing anymore, much prefer to watch them silly slags on Real Housewives than have it in my own life,lol

      • I think you hit the nail on the head. It depends more on the quality of the friendship while it lasted rather than how it ended. Going back is v. difficult if you don’t have amnesia on your side and if you recall the past relationship as mediocre, does that give hope for something better? I suppose it depends on present circumstances…

      • I agee. I had thought about contacting her, but have decided that I don’t want to go back as I would always be wondering when she would show her true colours! I don’t miss her!

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