These are a few of my favourite things… *

…Not!

Things I won’t miss when I leave this place:

  1. Trying to log onto my computer at least four times most mornings when I come in.
  2. Mr Snort and Chew, the snorting meerkat and his revolting habit that makes me want to punch him.
  3. The Coughing Tramp, wears the same clothes day in day out, can’t clear up after himself when he makes a coffee, his revolting acid reflux noises that echos round the whole floor, caused by him drinking coffee.  So stop it!
  4. The Drain, nice enough chap, but…  Anyway, having to hear him record the same voicemail message everyday, albeit with a date change (why FFS?), and listening to him slurp and suck his breakfast sandwich (shudders).
  5. Mrs No, Didn’t Get It, Do It Again?, witters on and on about how busy she is but in the time she has wittered on, she could have got on and done it!
  6. The Back Stabbers from the 4th floor, yeah, there are a few of them, there are a few on the 3rd and 5th as well…
  7. Ms Smile Doesn’t Quite Reach Her Eyes.  Never trusted her from the off, is a patronising so and so and a blatant billy liar.
  8. The building itself, functional office, but dull, dull, duller than dull.  Those in charge of the move back in 2006, missed a real trick with this place and instead of giving it some pizzazz, they made it an exercise in beige/fawn/taupe/mushroom/dull.
  9. The office silos, worse now than they ever were before we moved.
  10. The fact that this organisation is so up its own arse and thinks it is the bees knees in the commercial world.  News flash – YOU ARE NOT!
  11. Those who think that the coat cupboards are their personal wardrobes and regularly fill them with sundry dubious items (mostly in need of laundering) that they can’t be bothered to take home with them.  Your clothes smell, deal with them!
  12. Clearing up after people at the kitchen area.  Poor darlings!  Let Aunty Bint do that for you; you are far too important to do something so menial as wiping up after you have made your drinks or washed your cup.
  13. Same goes for some “ladies” who when using the toilets suddenly become totally incapable of throwing the paper towel in the bin after drying their hands, or when changing the toilet roll, leave the empty tube in the cubicle instead of throwing it in the bin, and worst of all THOSE OF YOU WHO MIGHT FLUSH THE TOILET, BUT DON’T CHECK AFTERWARDS AND INSIST ON LEAVING A PARTING GIFT IN THE BOWL!
  14. JL – you are a fuckwit of the highest order.
  15. AS – Oh, I really can’t be bothered…

So, thanks for the past 21½ years, for the most part, it has been great and I will treasure those memories and people.  The last six years – nah; on the whole, apart from a few people, I won’t miss those.

* lyrics from The Sound of Music

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The countdown has begun.

This is fairly a short post; more of a thought being voiced than anything else.

Today starts the countdown to my leaving my employment and I only have four more weeks to go.

Four weeks.

One month.

It is a strange feeling and although I should be scared to be out of work, especially in this current job climate. I’m not! I feel quite calm about it and as I will be on holiday for the last week and a bit (pre-booked), I effectively only have three weeks left in the office.

Sorting out any documents and stuff I want to take with me is interesting as I discover alot that I had forgotten about and the delete finger has already been busy. Quite frankly, I don’t see why we should leave anything behind for the benefit of anyone else. You haven’t given a shit about our work up to now, don’t dare suddenly give a shit about it now!

I have said my piece to HR about their shoddy treatment of me and Boss and I feel much happier about that. I did it politely and without drama but they needed to know that they are dealing with human beings and despite me being a bolshie cow, I only really get like that when I feel hard done by! They took it on board and promised a lessons learnt session after it is all over, but I know that it will be ignored and forgotten about, as will anything that I say in my exit interview.

I hate goodbyes as I get very emotional and stupid and I know that I will cry if any fuss is made. Boss and I have joked about doing each other’s collection and comparing notes on who gave what to each other! Joking aside, I don’t want anything formal and am not really bothered about a leaving card or a collection. Let’s not and say we did eh? I am happy to invite those that I want to keep in touch with for drinks, but I am not doing what alot of other people do; which is to send an email to all inviting them to such and such pub. That ain’t happening!

So, three weeks left in the office. Three weeks I don’t want to do.

Can I leave now, please?

“So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye…” *

Well, the last few days have been interesting to say the least!

My boss and I were told last Thursday that we are being made redundant.  The whole department that we are in is under review and since she joined in 2007, we have been pushed from pillar to post and our existence has never been safe.  She has never been allowed to do the job she was employed to do and under my last department’s review in 2006, I was dumped into my present role; a role I never wanted and have not enjoyed doing.  The organisation has never embraced the role that she does and have just paid lip service to it.  We have never had the backing of the majority of our managers and she has been treated rather appallingly since she joined.  I guess you could say that I benefited from an extra six years employment and that is a good thing but my time has now come to an end.

The fear of being without a job has always weighed heavy on my mind.  I guess partly because I was brought up hearing my Dad telling me never be unemployed, always have a job, be financially solvent etc.  And since 1983, when I moved to London, I have never been out of work – well, bar one week when I was between jobs.  So, of course, the prospect of being made redundant was something that I was not looking forward to.

To be told last week that I am no longer wanted came as a bit of a shock and I reacted as one would, and panicked and worried and everything else that happens to you when you get bad news.  The department manager wanted to tell boss and I before the main presentation last Friday; he said that he did not want us to find out in front of everyone else.  Which we appreciated.  I felt really sorry for the rest of the branch when the formal presentation was given to us and there were some very unhappy people there.  I am glad that I won’t be around to see what happens down the line.

I have worked at my present organisation for 21½ years and that is a long time to be at one place and I know that things have changed alot in the outside world, as it were, since I joined.  However, as part of the official consultation process, they have to go through the motions to see if they can find me a suitable position elsewhere, and I really hope that they don’t manage to do that!  I accept that you don’t want me anymore (I am always a bit cynical when they say that they are not getting rid of the person but are getting rid of the post), I accept that my face does not fit in your future vision, so let’s cut the crap and just pay me off and let me go.  I don’t want to stay there and I hope that they put me on gardening leave and tell me not to come back after I return from my holiday at the start of August.

I see this situation as a good thing, a positive thing and based on pretty good, albeit rough back of the envelope calculations, I should have enough to pay off the mortgage and still have a lump sum to play with.  Paying the mortgage was always a worry of mine if I found myself out of work and this should solve that for me.  I am happy about this happening to me now and excited about the future.  Don’t find me a suitable position elsewhere, don’t make me work my notice out, give me my money and let me go so that I can go off and find somewhere that will appreciate me and where I can put my talents, such as they are, to better use.  You may not want me anymore, but somewhere else will.  I am surplus to your requirements, but I won’t be to somewhere else.

To any of you who read this who are or might be facing the same fate, yes, it is perfectly normal to be scared and upset about being discarded by your present employer and your reaction and fear is totally justified.  I am the biggest scaredy cat about things like this!  However, I am now feeling so positive that I can’t quite believe that this is me talking!  So, try to see it as a good thing, see it as something that is to your advantage and an opportunity for you to find or do something that you really want to do.

Oh, I am not that naive to think that I will walk into another job immediately; it will take time and I will have to accept being turned down by many people in the process, but something will come along and it will be better and I will survive and that is the main thing.

And you will too.

*lyrics from The Sound of Music.