Today marks a year since you left us.
I don’t really know what to write for today, but suffice to say that even though some of the rawness has dissipated, I still miss you terribly and it certainly does not take much to make me shed a tear for you. Grief is a strange beast indeed.
So, I decided that I would post the three poems that I wrote last February, because you always loved my poetry and I do this in honour of you, my lovely Mum.
DEATH – 08/02/2020
The Last Breath
We waited as your laboured breath slowed.
And the pulse in your neck stopped.
You became still.
It was confirmed and you found peace at last.
We sat with you as we waited for the doctor and carried on around you.
As you lay sleeping.
Talking, laughing and clearing your room, like it was a normal day.
As your body settled into death.
And we hugged and kissed your hard, cold body.
Before they gently covered your face and took you away.
COFFIN – 21/02/2020
Lying there.
So smartly dressed.
Looking as you always did.
Beautiful.
And I wasn’t scared.
And through my tears I kissed and stroked your face.
And tucked the poem I wrote for you against your heart.
To accompany you on your final way.
FUNERAL – 24/02/2020
I have a Mum-shaped hole in my heart.
And it’s hard to accept that I’ll never see you again.
That I won’t hear your stumbling English.
Or see your beautiful smile.
Oh, yes, your last year was tough.
And we shouted and railed at each other.
But I loved you then, I love you now, I will love you forever.
My beautiful mother.
This Blog Belongs To Bint 
Hi Marie-Anne and Kak, It’s a tough anniversary for you both. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you can be together at least for a while today. I’d read 1 of these poems, funeral, when you published it last year, but not I think the others. They’re all so poignant and express not just your very personal experience but that of millions when we lose a loved one. So thanks for sharing. Lots of love Susana xx